Those who possess a failure mentality toward success are those who believe failure awaits their efforts. They struggle but never truly believe they can succeed. The possessor of a failure mentality sees success as an exclusive party to which he is not cordially invited.
In school, he attends classes and studies very hard, but during examinations fear and anxiety cause him to forget all he has studied, only to recall it after the exam is over. In life, he might be working toward becoming an engineer, entrepreneur, musician, or pursuing any noble ambition, but the moment any obstacle stands in his way, he gives up and moves to something else, where he will equally be discouraged at the onset of any potential challenge.
A single word or act of criticism will make him say, “I will never do that again.” He tends to settle where there is little criticism, few challenges, and minimal risk to take. He lives somewhere below average.
HOW TO IDENTIFY SOMEONE WITH A FAILURE MENTALITY TOWARD SUCCESS
- His fear of failure is greater than his desire to succeed: He truly wants to succeed, but his fear of failure is stronger than his desire for success.
- His effort to succeed is apathetic: He has no passion for what he is doing; he acts as if he is forced to do it.
- He has low self-esteem: He lacks self-confidence and genuinely believes he is inferior. Hence, he expects very little in life because he thinks he does not deserve much.
- He does not see the ultimate goal in an idea or project but clearly sees the problems involved: He focuses his mind on potential pitfalls and challenges, which cause him to overlook the ultimate goal of an idea or project and instead see only the difficulties in achieving it.
- He is not a good initiator: He is comfortable being a supporter. He does not want to initiate something or make his ideas known because he is afraid he might go wrong and make himself vulnerable to criticism.
- He is a good discourager: When you come to him with brilliant ideas and plans, he derives satisfaction in pouring cold water on them by highlighting all the problems involved in actualizing them.
- He tends to flee from any pursuit that demands sacrifice and risk-taking: He does not want to get involved in anything that has even the slightest possibility of costing him something.
- He finds it hard to acknowledge his weaknesses: He always has excuses to justify his weaknesses when they are pointed out to him.
Some time ago, when I started learning to play the snooker game, I learned faster than most people. Within a few months of playing, I was already competing with people who had started long before me, and I often won. However, the challenge was that I only won against players whose abilities I did not fully know. I hardly won against players I personally considered professionals or those I rated as more skillful than I was.
My biggest challenge was playing against the person who taught me how to play. I never played with him and won—not because my skill was not good enough, but because deep within me I did not believe I could play against him and win. I believed I could not win because he was the one who taught me and had been playing for more than five years before I started.
Unconsciously, I built a mental roadblock that prevented me from winning. In the name of humility, I accepted defeat even before the game commenced. Whenever I played with him, I was not playing to win; I was playing while expecting to lose, and I unconsciously did everything within my power to lose, even when I could have won.
I started winning against him when I fully convinced myself that I could actually play against him and win. From then on, I stopped playing to lose and started playing to win.
I believe this story does not apply only to the snooker game. In the game of life, you will succeed only if you stop living to fail and start living to succeed.
